Available

There's a song that continues to play over and over in my head, one that wrecks me every time I hear it, especially in this season. The song is "Available" by Elevation Worship (of course, I love it even more when Experience Worship sings it!)  If you've never heard the song, I highly suggest giving it a listen, but I've also included some of the lyrics below...

"Narrow as the road may seem
I'll follow where Your spirit leads
Broken as my life may be
I will give You every piece

Here I am with open hands
Counting on Your grace again
Less of me and more of You
Oh, I just wanna see You move

For the one who gave me life

Nothing is a sacrifice
Use me how You want to, God
Have Your throne within my heart

    I hear You call

    I am available
    I say, "Yes, Lord
    I am available"

    Here I am, here I am

    You can have it all
    You can have it all
    Here I am, here I am
    You can have it all
    You can have it all"

Here's the thing about this song, and about those lyrics that cut so deep; being "available", being ready, and being fully surrendered means that even when God's timing and God's plan looks very different than what you imagined, you have to continue trusting and being available for whatever He has planned for you. And let me just tell you, that's pretty hard, actually, way harder some days than others. Being "available", for me, has looked much different in action, then how I imagined it would over the last year. Almost a year ago to the day, in March 2020, I was preparing to leave for Uganda to be a full time missionary, and Covid spun every plan I had right down the toilet. Suddenly in a matter of days I had no job, no car, no flights, no plans....life as I had planned was turned upside down and there was only one place to turn as I had so many emotions overwhelming me. The thing is, MY plans and MY timing were not God's will for those things. How often have we been so upset because our plans fell through or things looked different than we imagined, but then on the other side of things we see how God's hand was always present and His plans were so much better than ours? He's never failed me and He'll never fail you, that's a promise! But here's the thing about that whole situation....I told God I was "available". I told God I would do "whatever He wanted me to do". I told God that "I was His with open hands". So if I was so willing and ready to pick up and go to another country to spread His gospel truth, why would He allow it to all suddenly stop, just 2 weeks before letting me get on that plane? Quickly I learned that the availability I gave Him needed to be used however it fit into HIS will, NOT mine. Quickly I learned that my surrender and open hands couldn't be limited to what was in MY head about this plan and timing for going to minister in Uganda, but yet to be fully available and surrendered I needed to be ready for whatever HE needed me for, and whenever He needed me for it. Now in March of 2021 I can look back on so many amazing things God has used me for even just in this season, and I can see so much fruit from the work that He's done in me this year. I can see so many beautiful blessings that have come from this season of stillness and waiting. It's intensely humbling for sure and I praise God for what he's done and continues to do! Not only has this year allowed me to dig deeper and grow greatly in some amazing relationships, love on some of the sweetest babes week after week, be more involved within my church and community, and be more intentionally present with others, this year has grown me so much closer to God spiritually, in preparation for what's to come. So here’s my question for you (and honestly one I need to continue asking myself) about the availability you've given God...Do you only say you’re available when it’s comfortable and convenient for you? Do you remain available when things get hard and uneasy? Do you seek the Lord when there’s a fork in the road and remain available for His will over your own? Yes, it's hard. Yes, there are times you want to throw in the towel and walk away to take the easy road. But, here's the thing about being available for whatever God wants to use you for: He strengthens you in ways you couldn't imagine. He provides everything you need and more to get to the next fork in the road. He gives you community who surrounds you and prays with you and for you. He carries you when your feet just can't take another step. He is always faithful, always perfect, and always keeps his promises. Lord, your will be done, not mine!

Uganda updates, version 2021: 

    -After a year of unknowns, stillness, and waiting, I finally have a plane ticket booked to head to Uganda!!! I'll be leaving the states on April 7th and I'm so excited! I'll admit, honestly, there's a little bit of controlled excitement happening. I quit my therapy job (that I went back to in September PRN) AGAIN, this past week and it's just a couple of weeks out from departure...which is about the same time frame that things went south last year. But I'm trusting that whatever God has planned, whether it's what I think should happen or not, is so much better than anything I could ever imagine. Your will be done Lord....your will NOT mine! 

    -There is so much more of a desperation and hunger for hope currently in Uganda. Not only did Covid also run its course through their country, but their government closed jobs, schools, markets, transportation, and about any method of income that could be had for an extended time. They closed borders and took away a big part of the economic provision the country ran on. When your country is already struggling with survival and poverty, total shut down is devastation. But there's hope to be taught and hope to be had in the Lord, and I'm expectant in seeing Him work beyond anything I could ever imagine.

    -I will be traveling to Uganda with 2 other people who will be helping me to get stuff set up for the house that I'll be living in and we will absolutely be doing ministry on the islands and unreached areas together before they leave. At this time there's so many unknowns and government rules, post covid shut down, to navigate within Uganda, preventing us from taking a larger team; however, we're hoping soon that will change and we can resume our team trips with Experience Community Church.

    -The mission and vision for our partnership in Uganda hasn't changed. Being able to partner with and serve the people of Uganda has been a tremendous blessing. Not only is it a dream and a vision that God laid on our hearts years ago, but to see the changes that have been made in such a short time has been a beautiful testimony of God’s amazing grace. We are so thankful for the doors God continues to open there and how he uses us as a church for his glory! Our mission and vision in Uganda consists of three main aspects, however is not limited to this alone, as God reveals further needs and direction:

1. Pastoring the pastors-Teaching and training Ugandan pastors with sound theology and accountability. Following Jesus to pastors/they teach church and community

2. Evangelism-Spreading the Gospel to unreached places, helping to create community and accountability, raising up leaders for God’s kingdom growth, distributing Bibles in their native language

3. Street kids ministry-Teaching the street kids about God’s love, mercy, and saving grace, providing meals and community for growth both physically and spiritually, and teaching them how to use the gifts and skills that God has provided them with to be changed and be the change in their communities.

Prayer requests:

    -I pray for wisdom and discernment in what's to come. In the transitions for me, in God's pathways and plans, in navigating this new season in a way that glorifies God alone and removes my own selfish ways.

    -I pray for the hearts and minds of the people I'll be ministering to and living among. I pray that they're open to relationship and discussion. I pray that their eyes are open to see the Lord and their ears are open to hear His word. I pray that they see beyond who I am physically, as a white girl from America, and see something different in the way the Lord lives within me.

    -I pray for total surrender and availability within me. Not my will, but His will be done in all things. Whatever He wants to use me for, I pray for strength and obedience to follow those leadings that the Spirit gives me over fear and hesitation.

    -I pray for protection, both physical and spiritual. I pray for safety with travel for all 3 of us in April. I pray that I'm surrounded by His armor at all times and feel His presence when things get hard. I pray against the schemes of the enemy as God's kingdom grows through this ministry. I pray protection over my house in Uganda, that it's a house of the Lord and no evil can enter. I pray protection over my heart, soul, body, and mind as I venture out into this calling and am exposed to so many different elements. 

    -I pray for my friends and family that I'm leaving. I pray for peace and understanding in their hearts that God is in full control of this mission and He is protecting me and using me no matter what it may look like. I pray for comfort in their hearts in knowing that there will be kingdom growth and glory to God in all things to come. 

God bless you my friends. Thank you for being on this journey with me and thank you for the covering of prayers as I head to Uganda to spread the name of Jesus Christ and all of His glory!

Tara

    

Uganda and COVID

A little background-
At 35 years old, God called me to leave all I have in America, and move across the world to be a full time missionary in Uganda, Africa. He has very clearly revealed to me, over the last couple of years, over and over, that this will be a journey of a MINIMUM of 2 years, but I, in no way, feel like He's told me that is the MAXIMUM amount of time I'll be there. This is something He has been preparing me for my whole life, and even more-so in the last few years. God has stretched me, grown me, taught me, and provided for me in ways that I could never even imagine, and I have no doubt that where He is sending me, is fully His will and His call for my life. When I first felt the nudge of the Spirit to pursue full time missions, my heart was fully in Haiti and fully ready to commit to a life there. However, when I first went to Uganda in April of 2019, within a couple of days of being there, it was made clear that Uganda is where He was leading me. On the exact day that I got back to America from that trip, the final door to Haiti closed, and doors to Uganda began opening wider than any Haiti door ever did. God began putting people in my life who, little did I know, would fuel that fire with prayers and community beyond my wildest dreams, and He opened up so many opportunities for growth in Him. In November of 2019, on my second trip to Uganda, God clearly revealed to me 3 main missions He wanted me to be a part of while I'm living there.
     1. Pastor the pastors/Evangalism- Teach simple, correct, theology to pastors on the islands of Lake Victoria and unreached communities around Uganda. So many pastors in foreign countries like Uganda are swayed by New Age religion, By Faith teaching, and Prosperity Gospel; so teaching TRUTH, providing bibles in their native language, and facilitating pastoral conferences and community groups are much needed for witnessing the spread of the true Gospel to communities and villages that these pastors are teaching.
     2. Street kid ministry- Build relationships with the street kids in weekly and monthly gatherings, while providing food, clean water, and Gospel teaching. There are so many homeless street kids in Jinja who are in survival mode every moment of every day. These young boys are often feared and rejected among their own community. Our hope is to build relationships, grow them into disciples of the Lord, reintegrate them into functioning members of society, and show them love, which they rarely receive.

     3. Evangelism- Spreading the Gospel to unreached places, helping to create community and accountability, raising up leaders for God's kingdom growth, and distributing Bibles in their native language.
      I will also be helping with stocking of a small medical clinic on one of the islands where we have established relationships, and teaching basic medical care for things such as skin infections, wounds, malaria, fevers, basic hygiene skills to prevent spread of infection. I will be working with our partner there to make sure they are providing prayer and teaching to each person who comes for assistance. The clinic owner will be taught how to keep medical records for proof of medication use, for restocking supplies monthly, or as needed.

I have no doubt in my mind that God has opened this door. I have no doubt in my mind that God has called me to Uganda to be His hands and feet. I have no doubt that God has chosen me and prepared me for this and I am all in to whatever He leads me to, no matter what!

March 31, 2020- 
The day that I was supposed to load up my life in a couple of footlockers and a carry on, get on a plane, and move half way around the world to Uganda, Africa. The day that God has so beautifully been preparing me for, to "go" for Him. The day that my calendar stopped being filled with plans with friends, church events, and other obligations in America, because a new chapter was going to be starting in a whole new place, filled with new norms, and new plans. The day that I now sit here with tears filling my eyes because flights are cancelled, countries are shut down, quarantine measures are in place, and COVID-19 has taken over the world in an outbreak that my generation has never experienced. The day that once held joy, excitement, anticipation, expectation, and new beginnings, now holds sadness, isolation, unknowns, and heartache deep down in my soul.

BUT GOD-
I sit here and I pray and ask God, "What do I do now? What do I do here? What do you want me to see in this moment? I know what you specifically told me to do in Uganda, but now I'm still here and I'm numb and I'm lost and I'm confused and I'm hurting, what now?" I'm hurting for my friends who are healthcare workers, on the frontlines. The ones who are tired, worn down, exhausted. The ones who are afraid to kiss their children, hug their families, live in the same room as their spouse. I'm hurting for my friends who are running out of PPE, having to reuse the mask they've worn for days, reuse the gowns which we've always been told are for 1 time use only. I'm hurting for my friends who are picking up patients from their homes, not knowing what they're walking into, what they're being exposed to, what they'll take home to their families. I'm hurting for my friends who have small businesses. The ones who are struggling on a good day to get by, the ones who have literally poured their lives into serving others, having to sit back and watch the numbers book become imbalanced as we're told to stay home and not get out, and as they're told to close business because they're non-essential. I'm hurting for my friends who are the "essential workers"; manning businesses, delivering goods, working crazy hours to stock shelves, clean stores, and provide for America, as America panics and fears this virus. I'm hurting for my friends in Haiti and Uganda who are at the mercy of a corrupt government. The ones who are being told that they can't drive, can't leave home, can't afford to stock up on food like people have done here in America. The ones who are witnessing and experiencing physical violence on the streets, by the government police, for trying to get or sell food for their families. The ones who are now out of jobs due to country shutdown, and can't afford to provide food for their families, their children, or even theirselves. The ones who are rationing what little food they do have just to take the edge off the hunger pains, and pray for survival against starvation while this runs its course. All of this on top of the fear of the unknown of the virus and lack of medical care and closure of public transportation in their countries. I'm hurting for my missionary friends serving in these and other countries. The ones who know God has called them to stay and serve during this pandemic, and now they're questioning what they can do, how they can help, but also having to ask to be filled with wisdom and discernment in keeping safety within their own homes. But most of all, I'm hurting for the friends who don't know Jesus right now, the ones who think they can do this whole situation, alone. As I pray and question in my own heartache and pain of how this virus has personally affected me, I am reminded of the many others who are affected in a multitude of other ways. I mourn the division of countries across the world due to politics, religion, and economics, but I praise God for the beauty that he brings from ashes (Isaiah 61) and I trust that He will sustain us and provide for us globally in the middle of the storm when we lean into HIM and Him alone for answers and guidance (Isaiah 43:1-7; 2 Chronicles 7:13-14). I trust that He is in control, He doesn't give us the spirit of fear and anxiety, but He does promise us that He will always provide just what we need when we need it (Matthew 6:25-34).

Now what-
Now I wait. I wait with expectation for when He allows me to go, when His timing is right, whenever that may be. I wait with anticipation for the day I get to be on the ground in Uganda, spreading the good news of Jesus Christ with those who have never heard. I wait with joy, knowing that He has gone before me and He will never leave or forsake me in any storm, no matter how big or small it seems in the moment. I wait with an undeniable peace of the Lord deep in my soul, even though my heart aches today because I am here, in my room, in Tennessee and not boarding the plane to my new home in Uganda. I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that God has called me to Uganda. I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt He will open the doors and allow me to go when His timing is right. I KNOW that I have no idea the magnitude of things He is going to use me for while I'm there, but I do KNOW that it's going to be so much more than I could ever imagine. His timing is in the preparation and He already knew this all would happen before we did. I rest in His promises of Yes and Amen, and I trust that He will sustain and protect my friends who are essential in this earthly battle. I trust that He will provide for my friends in other countries, not as blessed with excess as we are here in America. And I trust that when this is all said and done, God's kingdom will have a magnitude of growth and joy abundantly, not only in healed bodies, but in healed souls from people turning to Him and Him alone for comfort in this journey, and for that I praise and rejoice in Him today.

Prayer requests-
* Please pray for our leaders Globally, nationally, locally. Pray for our church leaders, our healthcare and research leaders. Pray for our small business owners, our healthcare staff,  hospitals, and medical clinics. Pray for wisdom and discernment in the decisions they all have to make in this pandemic. Pray for endurance, rest, peace in all they're doing.

*Please pray for other countries such as Haiti and Uganda, and many others, who are affected at a completely different level than we are here in America.  Pray for their governments, for their safety, for their sustainability, their health.

*Please pray for one another. For lost souls to come to know Christ in the middle of this pandemic. Pray for there to be a great revival in Jesus name and for all Christians to be a light in the darkness of this world, regardless of denomination or culture.

And I pray for you, my sweet friends, Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."