There's a song that continues to play over and over in my head, one that wrecks me every time I hear it, especially in this season. The song is "Available" by Elevation Worship (of course, I love it even more when Experience Worship sings it!) If you've never heard the song, I highly suggest giving it a listen, but I've also included some of the lyrics below...
"Narrow as the road may seem
I'll follow where Your spirit leads
Broken as my life may be
I will give You every pieceHere I am with open hands
Counting on Your grace again
Less of me and more of You
Oh, I just wanna see You move
For the one who gave me life
Nothing is a sacrifice
Use me how You want to, God
Have Your throne within my heart
I hear You call
I am available
I say, "Yes, Lord
I am available"
Here I am, here I am
You can have it all
You can have it all
Here I am, here I am
You can have it all
You can have it all"
Here's the thing about this song, and about those lyrics that cut so deep; being "available", being ready, and being fully surrendered means that even when God's timing and God's plan looks very different than what you imagined, you have to continue trusting and being available for whatever He has planned for you. And let me just tell you, that's pretty hard, actually, way harder some days than others. Being "available", for me, has looked much different in action, then how I imagined it would over the last year. Almost a year ago to the day, in March 2020, I was preparing to leave for Uganda to be a full time missionary, and Covid spun every plan I had right down the toilet. Suddenly in a matter of days I had no job, no car, no flights, no plans....life as I had planned was turned upside down and there was only one place to turn as I had so many emotions overwhelming me. The thing is, MY plans and MY timing were not God's will for those things. How often have we been so upset because our plans fell through or things looked different than we imagined, but then on the other side of things we see how God's hand was always present and His plans were so much better than ours? He's never failed me and He'll never fail you, that's a promise! But here's the thing about that whole situation....I told God I was "available". I told God I would do "whatever He wanted me to do". I told God that "I was His with open hands". So if I was so willing and ready to pick up and go to another country to spread His gospel truth, why would He allow it to all suddenly stop, just 2 weeks before letting me get on that plane? Quickly I learned that the availability I gave Him needed to be used however it fit into HIS will, NOT mine. Quickly I learned that my surrender and open hands couldn't be limited to what was in MY head about this plan and timing for going to minister in Uganda, but yet to be fully available and surrendered I needed to be ready for whatever HE needed me for, and whenever He needed me for it. Now in March of 2021 I can look back on so many amazing things God has used me for even just in this season, and I can see so much fruit from the work that He's done in me this year. I can see so many beautiful blessings that have come from this season of stillness and waiting. It's intensely humbling for sure and I praise God for what he's done and continues to do! Not only has this year allowed me to dig deeper and grow greatly in some amazing relationships, love on some of the sweetest babes week after week, be more involved within my church and community, and be more intentionally present with others, this year has grown me so much closer to God spiritually, in preparation for what's to come. So here’s my question for you (and honestly one I need to continue asking myself) about the availability you've given God...Do you only say you’re available when it’s comfortable and convenient for you? Do you remain available when things get hard and uneasy? Do you seek the Lord when there’s a fork in the road and remain available for His will over your own? Yes, it's hard. Yes, there are times you want to throw in the towel and walk away to take the easy road. But, here's the thing about being available for whatever God wants to use you for: He strengthens you in ways you couldn't imagine. He provides everything you need and more to get to the next fork in the road. He gives you community who surrounds you and prays with you and for you. He carries you when your feet just can't take another step. He is always faithful, always perfect, and always keeps his promises. Lord, your will be done, not mine!
Uganda updates, version 2021:
-After a year of unknowns, stillness, and waiting, I finally have a plane ticket booked to head to Uganda!!! I'll be leaving the states on April 7th and I'm so excited! I'll admit, honestly, there's a little bit of controlled excitement happening. I quit my therapy job (that I went back to in September PRN) AGAIN, this past week and it's just a couple of weeks out from departure...which is about the same time frame that things went south last year. But I'm trusting that whatever God has planned, whether it's what I think should happen or not, is so much better than anything I could ever imagine. Your will be done Lord....your will NOT mine!
-There is so much more of a desperation and hunger for hope currently in Uganda. Not only did Covid also run its course through their country, but their government closed jobs, schools, markets, transportation, and about any method of income that could be had for an extended time. They closed borders and took away a big part of the economic provision the country ran on. When your country is already struggling with survival and poverty, total shut down is devastation. But there's hope to be taught and hope to be had in the Lord, and I'm expectant in seeing Him work beyond anything I could ever imagine.
-I will be traveling to Uganda with 2 other people who will be helping me to get stuff set up for the house that I'll be living in and we will absolutely be doing ministry on the islands and unreached areas together before they leave. At this time there's so many unknowns and government rules, post covid shut down, to navigate within Uganda, preventing us from taking a larger team; however, we're hoping soon that will change and we can resume our team trips with Experience Community Church.
-The mission and vision for our partnership in Uganda hasn't changed. Being able to partner with and serve the people of Uganda has been a tremendous blessing. Not only is it a dream and a vision that God laid on our hearts years ago, but to see the changes that have been made in such a short time has been a beautiful testimony of God’s amazing grace. We are so thankful for the doors God continues to open there and how he uses us as a church for his glory! Our mission and vision in Uganda consists of three main aspects, however is not limited to this alone, as God reveals further needs and direction:
1. Pastoring the pastors-Teaching and training Ugandan pastors with sound theology and accountability. Following Jesus to pastors/they teach church and community
2. Evangelism-Spreading the Gospel to unreached places, helping to create community and accountability, raising up leaders for God’s kingdom growth, distributing Bibles in their native language
3. Street kids ministry-Teaching the street kids about God’s love, mercy, and saving grace, providing meals and community for growth both physically and spiritually, and teaching them how to use the gifts and skills that God has provided them with to be changed and be the change in their communities.
Prayer requests:
-I pray for wisdom and discernment in what's to come. In the transitions for me, in God's pathways and plans, in navigating this new season in a way that glorifies God alone and removes my own selfish ways.
-I pray for the hearts and minds of the people I'll be ministering to and living among. I pray that they're open to relationship and discussion. I pray that their eyes are open to see the Lord and their ears are open to hear His word. I pray that they see beyond who I am physically, as a white girl from America, and see something different in the way the Lord lives within me.
-I pray for total surrender and availability within me. Not my will, but His will be done in all things. Whatever He wants to use me for, I pray for strength and obedience to follow those leadings that the Spirit gives me over fear and hesitation.
-I pray for protection, both physical and spiritual. I pray for safety with travel for all 3 of us in April. I pray that I'm surrounded by His armor at all times and feel His presence when things get hard. I pray against the schemes of the enemy as God's kingdom grows through this ministry. I pray protection over my house in Uganda, that it's a house of the Lord and no evil can enter. I pray protection over my heart, soul, body, and mind as I venture out into this calling and am exposed to so many different elements.
-I pray for my friends and family that I'm leaving. I pray for peace and understanding in their hearts that God is in full control of this mission and He is protecting me and using me no matter what it may look like. I pray for comfort in their hearts in knowing that there will be kingdom growth and glory to God in all things to come.
God bless you my friends. Thank you for being on this journey with me and thank you for the covering of prayers as I head to Uganda to spread the name of Jesus Christ and all of His glory!
Tara
