As children we all had hopes and dreams for our own future. For some, those hopes and dreams from childhood come true, and then sometimes, as we get older, those hopes and dreams change. When I was a little girl I always wanted to be a doctor, a teacher, and a nurse, all at the same time of course. My rational was that the doctor made the money, the teacher loved kids and got to work with them every day, and the nurse got to give the shots- priorities, right? I also always dreamed of having a family of my own one day, and that dream has never faded. Never in a million years did I think I would be living in Uganda as a full time missionary, with a family full of boys, doctoring them, teaching them, and nursing them back to life. This life may look different than what I imagined as a little girl, but let me tell you, I wouldn't trade this life for anything. Some days here are nothing but joy and laughter and some days here are filled with frustration and tears, but every day God continues to bless me with this life and this family, here in Uganda.
There are many things that are getting easier, the longer I'm here. I'm learning the right prices for most things so I don't get "Mzungu priced", I'm getting more confident in driving (just think of the game Frogger on steroids and in real life), and I'm learning Luganda more and more each day (which is starting to scare the boys a little I think!) But there are still days that are frustrating and hard because of things like the concept of time, corruption, and bribery. Since my last update I've seen corruption at its finest with other organizations and politics in the city. But, every single time, God wins. Just like I say over and over, I have no doubt that I am right where I'm supposed to be, right when I'm supposed to be here, doing exactly what God wants done. God continues to remind me of that and show me that daily.
Recently, Thomas and I have been taking boys back to their villages to visit family, as they want to go. Up until about a month ago, many of the boys said they never wanted to go back. Some have been gone from home for up to 12 years, and some have made it a point to visit maybe once a year. The joy that we see when we go visit is priceless. These boys are proud to show their families what God has been doing in their lives. They talk with purpose and hope that they've not had in years. The boys I've taken back to visit just radiate as they see their families and introduce them to me and Thomas. Their families talk about how they look different and they can see a change. And over and over we give God all of the glory, because it's him who is changing them from the inside out, not me, not Thomas. We usually go with sugar, soap, and posho or rice to give the families, and somehow I always end up coming home with a chicken, or 2. Needless to say, my chicken stock is growing and I get amazing fresh eggs every single day!
I wish I could say that all things have been unicorns and rainbows here lately, but if I did I would be lying to you. As I said earlier, some days here are nothing but joy and laughter and some days here are filled with frustration and tears. I've had some really hard days this month. Satan has been working overtime trying to steal, kill, and destroy, but God continues to provide, protect, and restore hope. Here are some of the rough patches we've been dealing with this month:
1. I had to deal with the police and a shady organization every day for 2 weeks, fighting for one of my boys, Sema, who was unjustly arrested and put in jail. BUT GOD...God used that situation to show Sema His love, grace, and mercy in mighty ways, and allowed Sema to see Jesus in a whole new way through the actions and words God gave me. God used me to speak life back into Sema and give him a hope that he lost. A hope that seemed dim at first is now brighter than I've ever seen. Sema now calls me "Fighter Auntie" and prides himself in being my bodyguard...and he takes his job seriously! Sema has been so joyful and full of life since we settled everything 2 weeks ago. Sema saw God in his situation, and his life will never be the same.
2. One of the boys who has been with me since May and has shown such a drastic life change since then, began acting very out of character a couple of weeks ago. He began being angry, stealing things, and showing out during bible study, then he attempted suicide by ingesting pesticide and fertilizer. After 24 hours in the hospital with him, we were released and he begged for forgiveness and apologized profusely. Less than a week later he began acting badly again and began stealing things from our boys house and other places. The day I found out what he was doing, he also admitted to selling drugs, which led to suspension. Part of the rules of my program include suspension if the boys break any rules. I operate a tight ship and they know I don't mess around. When we realized things were missing and had witnesses pointing at him, he got suspended for 2 weeks. After I told him he was suspended, the young man decided to take 10 Tylenol extra at one time, seeking attention. He left the house before anything could be done, and after 2 days he came to me saying he had severe stomach pain. (a side effect of taking too much tylenol is liver issues). This young man decided that day that hanging out with the boys he used to hang out with, and doing drugs was more important than the second chance at life he had been given. This week during bible study on Tuesday, 2 of the boys came to the gate looking for me. They informed me that this young man had sold everything in the house that was rented for him and his roommate and he was on the run. I will leave out some of the next few details of the story, but things got worse. You may be asking, what's the positive in this story, because it only keeps taking a downhill spiral....BUT GOD-you see during every moment of every day I have boys watching me. They watch how I interact, they watch my attitude, they watch my every move. God has given me so much grace and mercy in my life. I've screwed up more times than I can count on my fingers and toes combined. We're supposed to be like Jesus, right? So here's God in this story....God allowed me wisdom and discernment in every action and every move. God allowed me grace and mercy to give to this young man. God allowed me to speak truth with discipline and authority. God allowed me to be loving and harsh at the same time. God allowed all of this so the boys can see that even when they do mess up, He still loves them, and I sill love them. This young man is suspended for 3 months at this point because of his actions and decisions. But just like I told the other boys, I'll tell you too; I haven't given up hope on him. I've seen God work in his life and I know he will continue. When/if he ever comes back he will have to start from scratch just like he did the first time. He won't get the rewards or benefits he was getting until he proves to me that he has truly changed and wants to change. But, if/when he does come back, my arms will be open to welcome him because Jesus has done that to me over and over, and this young man deserves that too. So how is God present in this scenario....the boys see that no matter what, grace wins...GOD wins.
3. I continue to run into issues with another organization working with street kids. This is the same organization that was causing issues with arresting Sema unjustly that I dealt with for 2 weeks straight. One of the social workers at the organization continues to lie and try to throw me under the bus and stop what God is doing in this ministry, because the success is intimidating to him. BUT GOD- Here's the thing about being obedient to God and following your calling, no matter what the enemy tries to do to ruin it, God wins...Every. Single. Time! Today I met with a government official whom the man was trying to tell lies to about me. When I left that meeting we were on the same page ready to partner together for the street kids, and he offered to write me a letter of recommendation if I ever need it. Jesus, truth, and kindness go a long way.
Yes, life here is sometimes chaotic and sometimes frustrating, but all the time it's perfect. I've learned a whole new meaning to having a perfect life, being here. It's not about how much money you have, what car you drive, what job you have, or how many friends you have. Living a perfect life is following God's plan for your life, making mistakes and learning from them, loving hard and loving well even to the least of these, and having a perfectly imperfect, messy, wonderful life lived for Christ. With Christ first, even the hard days have rainbows.
I love my life here. I miss my friends and family, for sure. I miss certain conveniences and luxuries of American life, of course. But my crazy Ugandan life is my life, and I love it. My boys are my crazy wonderful family who love me deeply, drive me crazy, and watch out for me daily. My sweet brother and sister, Thomas and Mary, have welcomed me into their lives with open arms and love me so well (and their baby boy basically think's I'm his mama-Sorry Mary!). My life is busy every day. My life is crazy most days. My life is unexpected and everything is always a process. But, my life is God's plan and God's will, and I have no doubt it's the life he has for me for a very long time. I love this crazy, beautiful, messy, dusty, Ugandan life.
Prayer requests:
* Prayers for wisdom and discernment, continuously, in working with these boys and growing this ministry.
*Prayers as we are trying to obtain an organization in Uganda to help continue to grow and further the kingdom work here.
*Prayers for my boys. For the ones who are seeing Jesus for the first time, to have confidence and hope restored. For the ones who are growing to have strength to avoid temptation and continue growing. For the ones who continue to choose evil over good, to see Jesus and have open hearts to surrender and change.
*Prayers for endurance and respite for me. For a day off to truly be a day off and to find community that I can be a part of regularly here for being filled up.
Thank you for the many many prayers that are being prayed for myself and for this ministry. God is working in mighty ways, friends, and he is going to continue to move mountains here in Uganda, I have no doubt. God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good!
God bless you my friends!
Tara, thanks for the update. I pray for you and what God is doing with you in Uganda everyday. Love you.
ReplyDeleteJames